When the COVID crisis first came down hard, I gathered together with my family, including my daughter and son-in-law and their two baby children, who normally live in their own place. Although it was crisis and danger that brought us together, it ended up being a richly rewarding opportunity to spend time with my children and grandchildren.
I couldn’t imagine how it would have ever happened if it had not been for the Coronavirus pandemic. No matter what happens going forward, I will always be grateful for the opportunity this crisis brought to spend some soul-enriching time with family. It was a confirmation of the principle that everything bad that happens also brings some good with it.
In the midst of so much suffering and difficulty for so many people I felt guilty when I realized I was enjoying myself. We all had heightened financial concerns and new difficulties. But knowing we were in a crisis changed our consciousness. It put our problems in a different perspective. And there was something fortifying about being with the people you care about most at a time of danger and insecurity, being there to support and protect each other.
With that shift in attitude, gathering together in response to an emergency became an adventure that reminded me of going to camp or on an adventure tour.
What was happening to us was happening to people all over the world as people gathered their loved ones together and withdrew to safety while the invisible viral storm wreaked havoc on our cities. The pandemic has affected practically everyone in the world, but it has affected everyone in their own individual ways.
Normal 2.0
The problems brought on by the crisis have been well enumerated by news reports, but I know there have been legions of other people who, like me, also stumbled onto opportunities that could never have happened under normal conditions. Normal. That’s a tough word. When things get shaken up too much, we all want to grab onto the familiar because it feels safe. But the more time passes, the more I realize there are some parts of the old normal I don’t want to go back to.
If I could “normally” never spend that kind of special time with my family, then how good is that “normal” anyway?
That’s the part of normal that I don’t want to return to, and I hope I don’t have to. It was a great release to be able to break through the barriers that usually block this kind of experience. Though we didn’t plan it, what ended up happening was that we took an extended trip together.
And there you go. That’s how I will save myself from having to return to the old Normal, in which I was precluded from spending much quality time with family. I resolve to make this a regular thing, somehow.
I have always said that travel is not so much about where, or how far, but rather how. We had our special COVID adventure travel experience this year. Next year, when we will have learned better how to deal with the virus, and the safety measures against it are incorporated into our regular behavior, like wearing seatbelts, we’ll have another.
I’m thinking of establishing a special COVID Memorial Holiday when the family can get together and share an experience that will engage all our faculties and let us work through the daily activities that are the concrete manifestations of love.
We will of course have to go back to our former work lives, one way or another. We aren’t going to become a frontier family like “Little House on the Prairie.” But I don’t want to go back to not being able to have focused family experiences. I want to incorporate them on a regular basis.
For me the best way will be some kind of family travel event. Travel is the ingredient that will charge the experience and take it beyond the routine and the mundane.
The feeling of being in camp together gave me a taste for doing more shared activities and adventure in the future. As this pandemic loosens its grip, that’s something I hope to retain. Hopefully it won’t take another pandemic to make that happen. Next time I want to be the instigator myself.
Traveling is the ideal way for families to spend time together. Travel exposes you to so much that is new, appealing to all senses simultaneously, that it is one of the most concentrated kinds of experience. Discovery is joy, and joy is a good thing to share.
Part of vacationing is to shatter the mold in which you are confined most of the time. Breaking the daily habits, putting yourself in a new environment and a novel situation that engages you at every moment, is rejuvenating for individuals and for families.
So I did gain some valuable things from this crisis. I will always have that experience, the memory of it and what I learned from it.
The time that we invest in being with our families is perhaps the best investment there is.
Not Just Me
As I was feeling guilty for being happy, I went online to look for evidence of others who had experiences similar to mine. In the early weeks of the shelter-in-place orders I had heard reports of the severe stresses that the lockdown had put on families. But it appears that there were also many who worked through those difficulties and reached a point at which their families grew closer.
My internet search landed on a study that was done by Life360.
Life360 is an app for families with young children, helping parents communicate, keep track of their children and coordinate activities. It has 34 million users, mostly tech-savvy millennial parents who would gravitate toward an app like this. The company surveyed thousands of them about how the COVID crisis has affected them.
Two thirds (66 percent) of families reported that sheltering-in-place has been “moderately” or “slightly” inconvenient, while only 26 percent said it was “very” or “extremely” inconvenient. And 9 percent said it “hasn’t been inconvenient at all.”
The survey also found that “families are growing fonder and more connected.”
Wow. Check out these statistics:
“Despite reports of disgruntled family life, 33 percent of families state that their parent/child relationships have improved amid the pandemic, compared to only six percent who report it has worsened. The most popular ways that families are connecting during the pandemic are by watching TV and movies (73 percent) and cooking (56 percent), followed by outdoor activities (43 percent), and crafting (34 percent).”
And this was the kicker: “Also to our surprise, not all families are ready to get back to their regular routines. Once shelter-in-place mandates are lifted, a quarter of families (25 percent) will still be uncomfortable going back to their regular, pre-COVID-19 routines.”
I was not alone. My experience was shared by millions.
So that’s it. I’ve decided. I’m making it a regular thing.
Stay safe. Enjoy.
All the best,
Your Humble Reporter,
A. Colin Treadwell
